I can’t.

Seriously I can’t because I am too slow for my nerve. And I really sincerely believe in all this Buddhist shit like project the good energy towards people and you’ll get it back. Well guess what, no, life is a bitch. So I gotta spill some tea right here, right now (not that I am acrid, like my bestie Charlotte would say, I am actually pretty amused).

I need to give some background to the plot. At the end of 2014, my relationship was inevitably coming to an end and I was desperately looking for a friend that I could share my sorrows with. Accidentally I came across Franco, who I have hooked up with several times before. We always had good chemistry, but never really got around to go forward with it, because there was always weird circumstances to it. Well, turned out that Franco was going through a really tough break-up too, the dude had cheated on him with some old queen and he only got to know because of being sneaky (dirty, disgusting story)… I was really looking forward to hang with Franco and share some kiki, share some gig, share some grease, until he suddenly stopped replying to my messages. Oh well, I thought, weird circumstance again.

I got over that real quick and here I am, weeks after that, having them drinks with my gurlz Charlotte, Dorris, Ursula and her boyfriend Roger and I am telling them about this date I have recently been on. And gurl, I live for the guy. The dude is cute, tall, charming, has a beard, is a bit weird (which is always a plus), doesn’t want to buy me, throws jokes and truly interests me, I am telling them all the details and Charlotte goes ‘really queen? because this sounds a lot like Franco’s infamous ex’. And no, it can’t be so I make my ‘I am taking a shit’ face and turn to her completely baffled and already completely convinced otherwise. She knew Franco much better than I did, she knew all the tea about his ex. Oh fucking well, yet again this was too good to be true. Suddenly all the puzzles began to fit together, by stomach jumped into my throat and I felt my brain just discovered that one plus one makes two.

All I want to do is go hibernate. I thought this happens only in really shitty, cheesy and predictable movies about straight people???

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